Worship Merger

Ain't Skeerd

2011-08-01T14:23:00.000-07:00

I saw a truck that had an Ain't Skeerd sticker on it. Next to it, it had a sticker that said "Truck Protected by Smith and Wesson." Ironic that although someone isn't afraid of anything, he still carries a gun just in case something scary comes along. Julie and I were chatting the other day about just how fearful we have become as a culture. You listen to commercials, and they are full of motivating your fear. The dollar is going to drop, so you need to buy gold. That girl isn't going to like you so you need to drop some weight. Your friends won't accept you unless you clear up that acne. Someone is going to steal your identity, so you need a company to protect you. Ad agencies have tuned into a reality in American Culture. If you want to motivate someone, scare the pants off of them...so they will buy your pants.

It's interesting just how often I am motivated by a spirit that is not given by God (2 Timothy 1:7), and see fear rise up in so many interpersonal things in my life that inhibit me from living well. I fear rejection. I fear that a down economy will cost me my job or that something negative will happen to my boys or their health. I would have to say that at times I fear failure to the point that I would risk for nothing of intrinsic value. It seems as though we as a culture are becoming increasingly Lifephobic, and when it all boils down to it, being afraid of all of these things doesn't denote a cautious lifestyle. It denotes a lifestyle that is chronically deficient of trust in the Creator of all things and the lover of our souls.

So maybe I should try and approach life with the spirit that God does give, that of love, power, and a sound mind, but I don't feel that this is something that I ask God for. He has already given it, but it's something that I haven't fully possessed. I haven't possessed the truth that we have been given such a spirit, but rather have taken hold of the lie that in certain scenarios, the flight reaction is more prudent than to fight. So out of fear, I don't confront well. I allow abuses to occur. I develop judgements of others that will remain true in my heart regardless of their legitimacy. I have seen the power behind taking possession of a lie. How much more powerful is taking possession of the truth?

Burning The Koran

2010-09-07T12:21:00.000-07:00

So I am sure that by now, you have heard about the whack job out in Florida who plans on burning copies of the Koran on September 11th. Many Christian leaders, Army Generals, and media representatives have railed against this nut, pleading with him not to insult the Muslims with this action. It is simply ridiculous to do such a thing, and this guy needs therapy, or at the very least a small island where this congregation can live alone and not intentionally incite a riot. Many Christians believe that loving Muslims is the answer, which when emulating a life of Christ, that is certainly the answer, so many have expressed that concept in their rebuke of the Floridian pyro.

This pastor is going to burn some Korans. Nothing is going to stop him. Like I said, he needs help. It will be interesting to see how the Muslim community responds to it, and judging recent history with Danish cartoonists, it wouldn't be a huge surprise if people are marching in the streets, catching cars on fire, and calling for the death of all us American infidels. In fact, they already are with the simple notion. Throughout the years, there have been plenty of offensive actions enacted on Christians such as a crucifix in urine, Bible burnings, Bill Mahr, Perez Hilton, and a whole host of personalities that get Christian's proverbial "panties in a wad", but to my knowledge, with those instances, Christians did not respond with violence, and if they have, it has been isolated cases. They certainly haven't called for the death of the liberal media. Should Muslims justify violence by their offense, it will further support the vast difference between a religion of grace and a religion of law.

Now that is not to say that Christians don't respond in other ways that are equally as egregious. We got behind our God fearing president and started a couple of wars, and recently, the "taking our Government back" rhetoric has been ramping up. And then there is the "Ground Zero Mosque." It is true. Christians really need to separate their Church and state a bit better. That will be the subject of my next blog, but for now, my hope is that the moderate Muslim will sensibly look at this scenario and rather than condemning a nut job, condemn any acts of violence that will in all probability be enacted. What would be best for this scenario is if we would just ignore this fellowship. They are in the same ilk as Westboro Baptist, and the only reason why they have a voice is because we give them one. Just ignore these people and maybe they will go away.

There is a Facebook group out there for this the bonfire. My favorite quote is as follows:

"So what if some one burns a book, it just makes them show their stupidity. It will not make you more or less christian or Muslim. We should all get together and burn our books together, and have a big laugh."

But when you have a religion where places on a map, words on a page, and the rigorous actions of the religion are more important than the people who worship in and outside of that religion, it is doubtful that any collective burning will happen, and one thing is certain. No one is laughing.

The Bad Samaritan

2010-07-17T11:52:00.000-07:00

I live in the bible belt, as it is so affectionately called, and here in Dallas, it is tough to see how the reality of that translates into the actions of people in any way that is positive or an asset to the community at large. There are slews of examples of how that is true, and I am sure a few examples of how it isn't, but I have to say that as a believer, there is very little about my community of believers that I can be proud of that impacts the culture at large.

When we were in Colorado, we were coming down from the mountain pulling a rented pop up camper. My good friend Ben Canon was helping me get the rental back to it's owner, and as we were turning onto the street where the company was located, his wheel came off of his truck! We hit the ground, and saw the wheel spinning out of control and glazed the bumper of another car. Fortunately, that didn't happen while we were driving down the mountain! Over the next hour as we were waiting for the tow truck to pick us up in Colorado Springs, at least 10 people stopped to see if they could help, all friendly and eager. Some offered cell phones. One offered his shop around the corner. Others offered rides, car jacks, or an informed inspection of the damage.

Recently, my wife was on a walk here in Dallas with our two kids and her mom with a heart condition. She was in our neighborhood, and stepped of a curb and badly twisted her ankle. They were on the side of the road, no cell phone, and scores of people drove by without offering to help. Eventually two Hispanic ladies stopped and lent a hand.

The Samaritan is supposed to be all of us believers. We are the ones who should have hearts of compassion and the ability to both recognize a need and meet it, but here in the bible belt, while there are a few good Samaritans, I think that for the most part there are bad ones. I do realize that there are circumstances that surround our tendencies to drive on. We live in a city and watch the news, and isolated cases of violence force us to live our lives in fear, although pretty much every one of us, including myself have neither been a victim of or known someone who was a victim of a violent crime, but still many live their lives in fear that the person on the side of the road may be setting us up. So we would rather be cautious than compassionate, even if that is a mom, grandma, and two kids.

Now this is an identifier of Americans that continues to press us to make fear induced decisions that greatly affect others lives. We exhibit caution rather than compassion with the Cubans, Iraqis, the black families in South Dallas, the Hispanics in West Dallas, our neighbor with the lazy eye and a creepy demeanor, and the list goes on and on. Certainly the Good Samaritan could have let the fear overcome him and not stop to help. Culturally there was much of a divide between the Jew on the side of the road and the half blood that would eventually stop to help. That cultural divide is just as strong between the white Christian culture of Dallas and the rest of the city, but unlike the good Samaritan, we live our lives being paralyzed by what might happen, or how we might be treated, or how that person might be violent.

Another reason why we don't stop is far more sinister. It's because we are just too "busy." Our time is too important to help those who need it, so we make an excuse as to why it is just not possible to stop, say a quick prayer, and figure that someone else with time on their hands will stop. And the of course, let's dare not explore the fact that one might just be a self centered jerk and could care less about anyone else. Nope, we are good Christians.

This week, at the fellowship where I work, we are talking about suffering, and I find it almost humorous for us Americans to ever have the ability to relate to Christ's suffering, because we live our lives in such caution that we dare not allow suffering to take place. We isolate ourselves with other believers. We go for the college education and work a job that we hate so that we can pay our bills and acquire "stuff." We do not confront the injustices that exist in our backyard, much less across our planet, but we weekly attend our gatherings, have lunch with our small group, and live in ignorance of the fact that there are people truly suffering, of which we have no desire to share in. But Christ did just that. The foundations of the Church were built with blood, but we consider a bad economy suffering, or the loss of a job, or our kids smoking weed, or living paycheck to paycheck, but this is far from suffering. This is far from the reality of the world that we live in, and that person who is on the side of the road or asleep on the sidewalk in a 100 degree day could at that moment be experiencing a great deal of suffering that we will never understand in our late model air conditioned sedan that we got a great deal on.

I know that in our beautiful cathedrals where we listen to messages intended to encourage the whole rather than challenge the chosen, it is difficult to see beyond that culture and get our hands dirty with those that Christ COMMANDED us to love and take care of. Stopping for the mom who is stranded with her two kids is a ridiculously easy way to be about that commandment, but if we can't do something as simple as that, there is no way that we can be able to connect with God's suffering over the status of the world today, and truly make a difference in the lives of those who are victims of the things that we see on the news.

The Christian Hyper-crite

2010-03-01T11:40:00.000-08:00

As many of you know, I have been working on a book for a while about me growing up in Christian culture. It is probably one of a few thousand of these types of books as so many of my generation have began to look at Christian culture with a critical/cynical eye. I have been diving into some websites that muse on Christian culture, and although I found much of the comments there very funny, I slowly began to see a real disdain for Christian culture. For me, I have tried to differentiate between Christian culture and the Body of Christ. Not quite sure why at this point. Maybe it's because I think Christian culture is disconnected from the culture that God calls us to engage. It truly does seem to me that God has called us to go to the culture and build His kingdom, and instead we have went and built a culture and called it His kingdom where we rule and reign, and "give the glory to God" rather than truly being submitted to the Father, living in His family, and growing that family by His Spirit.

That is the really super spiritual reason for it. It's the reason that I use to impress others, but I think that there is another reason that is part of the darkness in my heart. It is the fact that I do not love my brothers and sisters well. I have heard so many people say that it is easier to love the lost than other Christians (which by the way, I think that many of these people are full of it. They don't really love anyone other than their shelter rescued dog and maybe their Starbucks coffee slinger). I typically nod my head in agreement, as though it was all those stupid Christian who just don't get it, and are just too difficult to deal with. They are the Christians that have made it difficult for us to engage our culture. They are the Christians that have made other people not think that we are hip or with it, or even that we are condescending, arrogant, ignorant, and hypocritical. I think that there is a growing population in my generation that really scares me far more than the hypocrites. They are the hyper-critical individuals whose experiences drive their beliefs, and they have no real foundation of truth. They are a group of people who really love the lost, but really view the majority of the Body of Christ with disdain.

My friend Brady posted something a while back that has really stuck with me.

"There’s far more authenticity in bad coffee, hard pews, and people of all generations who aren’t very cool and often aren’t very intellectual than there is in coffee shops, smartly-dressed people, and haughty lounges with only folks from one generation who think they know everything." - Paul T. McCain

I can't stop thinking about that quote. I can't stop the nagging feeling that there are far too many influences in my life that are slowly eroding my faith and my desire to connect with other believers. I used to frequently comment on a blog, and not too long ago left a comment about how I believe that one day, everyone will believe in God as we stand before him. When we were in Colorado, we began saying the word pre-believer as a profession to that reality. Even as a profession of faith that those that we love that are lost will come to know the Father in this life, and that God would use us as the guide. God did use us as the guide.

When I mentioned this word, I was rather viciously attacked by someone who used to be a believer. I guess I can understand why such a statement would set her off, and wasn't too phased by her comment. What did take me back was the reaction by the blogger on the site. In truth, when I went back and read the comment, it could come across as arrogant and condescending. So I owned it and apologized, but the hits just kept coming. There was no reasoning, and that was compounded by the unbeliever, dare I say pre-believer, as she relentlessly attacked someone that she doesn't know. Now I am a big boy, and realize that in reality, there is no way that someone who has left their faith and myself will ever see eye to eye, but I just can't get over the bloggers comments. I can't get over how quickly that person would rush to the defense of someone who has rejected their faith and the Christ that we so love at the expense of a brother who may have been wrong, but came about it honestly, and something that was completely based in my beliefs for which I am extremely passionate.

In actuality, I wasn't wrong. Not in the least according to the theology of all those who believe, we will all stand before God and give an account of our lives, but the question is, in making that statement on this site, did I act in a way that was good, regardless if it was right nor not? Did I act in a way that was loving? Am I required to love someone on a blog site that I will never meet, will never have in my home, or will never have a real conversation with? And how is it that for so many believers, the truth has become unloving?

I think that we live in an age where Christianity is being forced to fit inside of people's, albeit broadening, world views. A growing number feel that scripture is a guide, but not absolute and inerrant. Many feel that based on their experiences, that they have arrived at a level of faith that is beyond all of those other Christians who relate to their Father through being in His scriptures, frequent intercession, and submitting to one another (and by one another, I mean other believers). Most believe that Christ is love, and if they can just love the people that they come in contact with, then that will be enough. This concept is very true in its foundations. Love is the key, and what plagues the modern church, in that so many are involved in a loveless relationship with their Father, other believers, and the lost, but I think that we are in a pendulum shift that is so common with our culture. We see it in politics in whom we elect, where one person is extremely one way, and then the next person is the polar opposite, as though somehow the opposite will make everything right. We have seen it time and time again in the Church as we have reacted to the culture around us and within.

Examples include the exclusionary tactics following the Scopes Monkey Trials, where Christian culture went into a preservation and defensive mode. We saw it though the 80's as so many prominent believers fell, and Christianity further cocooned itself to be protected by the onslaught of public scrutiny, but at the turn of the century, something changed. Christianity became more powerful. Fellowships became huge in numbers. Christians were getting people elected, steering public policy, and growing into an imperialistic corporate looking giants that many Christians, justifiably so in many instances, feel is not the heart of Christ. The pendulum shift from this age of Christianity has been that of cynicism and ridicule, as the fastest growing blog publications are geared towards "musings" in that culture. They feel that if they can distance themselves from this culture, that possibly they can become more affective in reaching the lost, or at the very least being more Christ like to others.

Not only do I understand that reaction. I live it often. There are times when I have disdain at the waste and moral corruption in Christian culture. There are times when I look at some of these leaders on billboards with disgust, and rail against them as part of the reason why people aren't coming to Christ. It is true, much of the Body of Christ is dysfunctional, made up of believers who have fallen short, which includes every one of us, but we cannot remove ourselves from the Body because a portion of it is sick. If our human bodies acted like that, we couldn't survive a common cold. Rather than fighting against the portions of the body that are sick, we have to fight for those people, and that is where I have failed miserably.

It is easy for me to criticize on this blog, but not be fighting the real battle that is not against flesh and blood. It is easy to form opinions of these people, draw broad assumptions, and dismiss them rather than interceding, allowing the Holy Spirit to give light to the situation, and pray in faith, believing that the creator of the universe and the head of the Church can manage the affairs therein far better than my opinions. It is also extremely easy to educate myself based on the isogetical (forcing scripture to fit your world view) opinions of others rather than allowing the scriptures and the knowing of Jesus to be the foundation in my life that never moves.

It seems to me that many blogs, books, and movements in Christianity provide the fast food of Christianity. It looks and tastes amazing, but it has very little substance that is truly sustaining, and while it is at times a necessity to consume this type of information, if it is all we consume, then the damage done can be very difficult to reverse. So I am not saying get rid of your blog roll (shameless self promotion), but I am saying that in and of themselves, these blogs will not sustain you. Your small group will not sustain you. How much you serve and how much you worship will not sustain you. There is only one living water. There is only one Word that is fully nourishing.

BJU, A University for U!

2010-01-28T17:49:00.000-08:00

I ran across a Bob Jones University poster today, and had to share it with my friends in order to eliminate any talk that may be swirling around about the sexual innuendo in this poster. I just don't see it. BJU is a beacon, and is above such ridicule!

And now a message from our sponsors, Bob Jones University.

At BJU, we encourage you to come and go. At BJU, we expect you to Learn, Meet, Grow, Achieve, Impact, and then share your experience with the rest of the world. If you have any questions, feel free to call our toll free number, 1-800-BJ AND ME and speak to one of our receptionists.

Now that in no way should be misconstrued, and anyone who does is gutter minded.

I wish you could see the fine print down at the bottom, which states that Bob Jones does not discriminate against race, color, age, sex, national origin, disability, or veteran status. That just goes to show that this university accepts all peoples and welcomes them with open arms, unless you happen to be black, female, under the age of 18, and/or aren't from a nation that has white people in it. Notice that they didn't mention sexual orientation. Be forewarned, you will be discriminate against if you are gay, but you would expect that out of any upstanding Christian University. They do protect your veteran status though. Now I hope that we can put all of this course talk to bed.

Protective Grill for a Snare Mic

2010-01-27T11:33:00.000-08:00

I thought this was pretty funny. This protective shield was deployed on the latest Rob Thomas tour. That should get it done!

Good job Pat! Now let's make it GREAT!!!

2010-01-20T22:31:00.000-08:00

Dearest Patrick,

As always, thanks again for your insightful comments! It seems like these letter are becoming a common place, and it is great to see that we are able to scratch one another's backs with such ease. You really hammered God with this one, making him and his followers look mean spirited "I told you so's!" Home run on that one. Reminds me of Katrina. Although Ellen makes me laugh, the more people that think that God and Christians hate gays the better!

This is just a heads up. In the future, this is how I roll. If I am going to make a pact with someone, I do it with style. Range rovers, huge houses, fake boobs, and the like are typically part of the deal. I call it my platinum package. It doesn't take much convincing to get them to sign on that dotted line. People typically just want to get more and more, so I don't need the tyrannical French to make that happen. Truth is, I just cannot be associated with an 80% poverty rate. It's just bad for my street cred and hurts my bottom line. I am not saying that we need to discontinue this relationship. This is but a minor hiccup, and I am sure that you will be more cognizant of your misgivings in the future.

If you have any questions, feel free to hit up my cell, or you can visit the FAQ section of the website, and I do appreciate your subscription to access the premium content! Did you enjoy your "God Hates Chavez!" t-shirt and door mat? Those are still flying off the shelves.

Keep up the good work!

XOXOXO

Satan

Hoping and Knowing

2010-01-03T19:26:00.000-08:00

For about the past six months, I have had to ask some more difficult questions of the Father in regards to faith; what it is, how it is alive, and how to live a life by faith. Growing up in more charismatic circles, I certainly saw people who viewed faith in some strange ways. Many thought that you got the good things in life because of your faith. They also had a consequential aspect to living in faith. If there were things going wrong in life, then you simply didn't have enough faith, or possibly there was sin in your life that was keeping you from God's best. Today, we see that splattered all over the Christotainment industry. But there is merit to that line of thought.

The book of James really is a book about faith. James 4:2 says "You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God." Many faith movements have used this scripture to justify their belief system in getting that BMW or that house they can't afford, or even the clothes they wear or their circle of friends. That is pretty easy to do unless you read James 4:3, which says "When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." So much of the intentions with the word of faith movement is derived on half of a thought in the book of James.

James also says one piece of Scripture that doesn't sit well in my mind, being a person dead set against legalism in the Church. Earlier in the book, in chapter 2, he states, "What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead."

When I was studying this book during the fall, I had a real come to Jesus moment as the Lord asked me where my faith was alive. I didn't have a good answer. Over the last couple of years, God has blessed us financially, and we had for the first time been able to live well on the money that I am fortunate to make at my job. Before that, it seemed we were living by faith every week. Julie once said, "You know, having faith is great, unless you have to use it." We were having to use it often, to say the least.

But during this time of provision from God, through an employer, I hadn't had to use my faith very often. That is until about 6 months go.

My friend Chris is dealing with a rare form of cancer that is literally destroying his entire body.

Chris needs a miracle to survive. He isn't yet 30, and is going through the battle of his lifetime. As I began to pray for he and his wife, I was praying the "God, you can do anything" prayer. James talks about that kind of faith as well. He goes on to say in verse 19 "You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder." The way that I see this, I believe that God can do anything. So what. So do the demons! I began to realize that there is a vast gap between believing that God can do something and knowing that He will.

For those of you who are close to this family, you know that my wife has had some pretty serious health issues over the past three weeks. To make a long story short, she was rushed to the emergency room with severe lower abdominal pain. It was diagnosed as a kidney infection and after a CAT scan, they discovered a "mass in her abdomen that was about 6 cm wide." They instructed us to go to her OBGYN asap. We went the next day to see our friend Garrett who had delivered Salem and Josiah. After a sonogram, he pulled us into his office, and said that it was about 10 cm in width (about the size of a baby's head) and that he needed to find out what it was and why it was there. He mentioned that he would get an OR booked that day if she didn't have a kidney infection. That freaked this young dad out. All of the scenarios were running through my head. What if my wife had cancer? Is my faith alive enough to weather that storm?

They took a blood test, and 4 days later, we found out that it probably wasn't cancer. Big sigh of relief! But Julie has another appointment tomorrow because there is still something there that shouldn't be. So, we will find out then what we are going to do next.

James says that we have not because we ask not, but if we ask and do not get what we want, it is because of the wrong motive. This also denotes a fundamental understanding of asking for the things in a way that you know the Father will provide. So, being a person of little faith, I am left with the challenging question. Do I believe that my Father will heal my friend Chris? Do I believe that He will protect my wife and family from harm? I think that there are far too few of people in this world that could answer that question as a yes with certainty if it related to their circumstance. I am somewhere in the middle. I have begun the journey from a hope in God to a knowing of God. I pray that that journey will increase the faith that I need to truly impact the people that I love and be about God's choice for me. I am in progress, and am consistently thankful that despite my unbelief and lack of faith, that God is still good and still in charge.

Get Rid of Human Beings NOW!!!

2009-12-22T17:57:00.000-08:00

This is from the Christian Movie Reviewer Movieguide.org on the recent box office smash AVATAR. I just had to comment. Their article was titled "Get Rid of Human Beings Now!" The entire review can be found at The Worst Review Site on the Internet. Here is a snippet for your amusement.

Extremely strong, slightly mixed, New Age pagan, politically correct worldview contains strong environmentalist content and extremely strong communalistic group think philosophy, overt New Age Gaia/Goddess worship and tree worship extolling people over the individual and promoting the connectedness of everything in nature, a strong Marxist overtone, and very strong anti-capitalist content where human capitalists are presented as greedy, merciless thugs abusing the creatures and landscape of another planet, but with some Christian references and allusions with some Christian, biblical values able to be read into the movie, including themes of being born again, sacrificing yourself for others, and respecting nature, but, on closer examination, these themes differ from the revealed, biblical Good News of Jesus Christ, plus some occult content of speaking to dead spirits; 26 obscenities and 10 profanities; very strong bloody violence with huge battle scenes, people impaled by spears and arrows, stabbings, hatchetings, attacks by vicious animals, poisonings, bloody wounds, death, people caught in the mouths of large creatures, creepy tree grows into people, and people and creatures shot, blown up, and run over, plus ugly alien creatures could cause children nightmares; sexual content includes allusions of sex between partially clad aliens and hints of bestiality with animals and sentient aliens establishing physical and mental connections that are like a spiritual, almost sexual “high”; some upper female nudity on aliens, 10-foot-tall humanoid creatures nearly naked throughout the movie, with partially nude breasts and partial upper nudity, very thin alien clothing, upper and human male nudity; brief alcohol use; smoking and implied drug references; and, greed and exploitation rebuked, and movie promotes an anti-human, reverse racist ideology.

Wow, I don't think that they liked the movie. I wonder what they thought of Lord of the Rings. I would let you know, but I would have to sign up for a subscription. For giggles though, I am going to break down the review.

"contains strong environmentalist content and extremely strong communalistic group think philosophy" Now when anyone puts "ist" at the end of anything, that means they don't like it. You think Jesus was an environmentalist? How about a communalist? Group Think? Sounds a bit like Ephesians 6, where God discribes the Church as one Body. Can't figure out why they thought this was negative.

"very strong anti-capitalist content where human capitalists are presented as greedy, merciless thugs abusing the creatures and landscape of another planet" You mean like flipping over tables in the temple? Hmmm. Let me list what feeds the anti-capitalist content in our culture.

Enron
Exxon (made the largest profit margin in history while the rest of the world suffered $5 a gallon of gas)
AIG
The 140 failed banks this year
Banks in general with exorbitant fees getting to screw you and I yet again through billions in tax payer dollars.
ATT, Sprint, Verizon and all the companies who screw you over with contracts and then offer terrible customer service and a huge fee to drop them.
This is just a short list. I could go on and on.
Do you think Jesus was a capitalist? Just curious...

"with some Christian references and allusions with some Christian, biblical values able to be read into the movie, including themes of being born again, sacrificing yourself for others, and respecting nature, but, on closer examination, these themes differ from the revealed, biblical Good News of Jesus Christ"

You mean like scaring the hell out of someone so that they pray a flimsy prayer that doesn't truly transform their lives? These concepts aren't overtly Christian. They are completely Jesus. The Christian gospel and the Gospel that Jesus taught are often times drastically different.

"26 obscenities and 10 profanities"

Fart, penis, poop, crap, Obama. There. This blog has 5 Movie Guide obscenities.

"very strong bloody violence with huge battle scenes, people impaled by spears and arrows, stabbings, hatchetings, attacks by vicious animals, poisonings, bloody wounds, death, people caught in the mouths of large creatures, creepy tree grows into people, and people and creatures shot, blown up, and run over, plus ugly alien creatures could cause children nightmares"

Ummm, Lord of the Rings, Braveheart, and a PG-13 rating. So keep your kids out of the movie unless they are 13. If your 13 year old gets nightmare, you might need to try something besides homeschooling on the compound! And those ugly creatures. We don't allow ugly in Christianity. No, no, no. Gotta be pretty.

"brief alcohol use; smoking and implied drug references; and, greed and exploitation rebuked, and movie promotes an anti-human, reverse racist ideology."

This one was my favorite. They rebuked greed and exploitation?!? How dare them!!! The movie seems to promote an anti-conservative standpoint, but I will talk more about that when I see it tonight! Brief alcohol use, smoking, and implied drug reference. Sounds like my small group.

I don't know about you, but after reading this, I have to see this movie! I wasn't too excited about it until now. Thanks Movieguide!

Southern Baptist Sissies

2009-12-21T14:52:00.000-08:00

So, after railing on the Baptists and evangelicals on their fiscal and homosexual lovin' responsibiliites, I ran across this article, and have to say that I was surprised in how they are rethinking the way that they approach homosexuality.

Read the Article Here

While I still assert that if you should never preach against homosexuality unless someone you know and love personally is one (see Public Relations), I do have to appreciate the Southern Baptists Convention's diligence to recognize that there needs to be a change, although I do feel that their response to Southern Baptist Sissies is because they don't really know how to respond, not that it doesn't need a response. After all, it is a direct assault on the Baptists position on homosexuality and effectively paints them as haters of gay women and men. I don't believe this is entirely true, although one would be a fool to assume that there isn't a real disdain (to put it eloquently) in many members of the SBC towards homosexual culture. I do still sense a fear in their measured response. It is almost as if they are ping ponging between extremes. One moment homosexuality is laden with fire and brimstone. The other, it is presented equivalent to other sexual sins.

Then there was the guy who ministers to homosexuals who used to be one. That would be like an alcoholic hanging out in bars because the have been "set free." That very well may be true, but I have seen on too many occasions those people falling right back into the same lifestyle. An alcoholic, delivered or not, always knows that they are an alcoholic. Most never stop desiring alcohol, but they control that desire by keeping themselves away from situations where they might compromise, and being accountable to others. I don't think that a homosexual will ever stop desiring relations with the same sex, unless the miraculous happens in their lives. Maybe that has happened with this guy. I am not going to assume otherwise, but I hope that other people who are struggling to get out of a gay lifestyle don't follow this guys example. I have just seen it happen way too much where the environment, or even the possibility, is a more powerful motivator then staying clean.

I do feel that this is a healthy struggle for the SBC, and the quote that I appreciate the most is, 'Dean said. “There must also be compassion. Homosexual behavior is a sexual sin, just like adultery or other kinds of sexual immorality. Jesus’ compassion for the woman who was caught in adultery [John 8] serves as a great model for the church.”' This is absolutely true, and if this is the foundation for their struggle, then they are certainly on the right path!

For My Wife

2009-12-20T12:08:00.000-08:00

I am writing this blog specifically for my lovely wife. For the last three days, I have been Mr. Mom. Julie is sick in bed, and it looks that it could be some time before she is better, which sucks since this next week is Christmas! We are going to try our hardest to be out in West Texas for the big Presley extravaganza. Should be a barn burner!

Let me just start by saying this. I am a pretty good husband. I am a crappy wife. This sure hasn't been easy by any stretch of the imagination. Thursday was Salem's Christmas party at school, and Julie was supposed to bring juice and help with the party. The juice I could handle. Playing mommy at the party with a bunch of other mommy's, not so much. Especially since I think that in their mind, they are wondering why I don't have a job. Well, a real job anyways to where I couldn't possibly get away because I am so important. But in reality, they probably weren't thinking that at all, but rather thinking, why does this taco meat taste like ass? That's because I didn't let it simmer. Julie makes the taco meat! Not me! Why are you looking at me with those condemning eyes! That's the way it played out in my head. In reality, they were all very nice and thought it was funny that I couldn't do something simple like cook meat. I am a man. Cooking any kind of meat should be in my blood. Guess not.

So the kids have been pawned off a few times in the last four days. The neighbors, close friends, not so close friends, Sunday school classes, you name it. I have spent the entire time it seems doing dishes. How in the crap do we go through so many dishes? We are a family of four for Obama's sake! Salem has played the Wii pretty much the entire time he has been home. I know it is not good to do that, but when he's into a game, he isn't making a mess that I have to clean up! Josiah doesn't have a vice yet to hold his attention. Cartoons don't do it. When Salem was his age, we could have a playdate with his friend Thomas the Train and he was captive for at least 30 minutes. Josiah isn't interested in the least. The only thing he is interested in is playing with things that he isn't supposed to. So for three days, I have been hiding things so that he can't get to it, and he will find some object to stand on and typically get to my first hiding spot before I realize that I need to go higher. My only reprieve his his nap. That only happens once a day no matter how much I try to change that.

Last night, we were supposed to have a Christmas party. It got canceled for obvious reasons. Not everyone get that message though. Sorry Bethany. She showed up in her Christmas best with a date and a plate of Christmas cookies. I felt terrible. Hopefully the date found some redeeming moments of spontaneity. She did leave the cookies. I was sitting on the couch watching "The Hangover" on my laptop because it had to be back by 9. There were probably 10 cookies on that plate. I heard a ruccus in the other room where the cookies were being stored, and by the time I got there, all but two had vanashed, and Josiah had a huge smile on his face. Come to think of it, so did the dog. Mind you he is not yet 2. I guess they were good. Thanks Bethany!

We do appreciate all of the people who have been praying. My wife isn't out of the woods yet. In fact, far from it. We will know more in the coming days, but please continue to pray that God would heal Julie. She has had a rough few days, and we are uncertain how this will play out. Pray for me too, that I will have wisdom in the decisions that I have to make for the fam. I pray that all of you have a blessed Christmas season. Remember to put the "mas" back in Christmas!

Why the Church is Responsible for the Healthcare Bill

2009-12-16T21:22:00.000-08:00

So the politically charged season continues to heat up as Healthcare continues to make progress. Both sides have some major issues with the current bill that could stall it indefinitely. It is interesting how many believers are having a hard time balancing their social and political views during this season. Many see those in need in our country, and realize that quite possibly, the only way for these people to receive help is through the government. After all, the agency responsible for caring for the poor, that being the Church, is a little too consumed with its own initiatives, and in fact, so much so that many are willing to put their political opinions (such as a staunch pro-life stance) aside to allow the government to be the Church to the poor in this country. It reminds me of a little book in the Bible called Nehemiah. Jerusalem was so disfunctional during the time of Nehemiah that they couldn't rebuild their own walls. They had fallen from prominence and were in danger of being conquered all together unless someone came along and took care of that which they were responsible for, rebuilding their own walls. So God used a pagan king and one man of faith to take care of an issue that the people of God were no longer able to manage. I see the same thing happening with healthcare.

For far too long, the Church has neglected the welfare of the poor. In the last few weeks, one particular fellowship here in Dallas began their $130 million building campaign. Here is a quote from the pastor. "The finest facility in this area should be one that glorifies almighty God." Never mind that this is Dallas, home to around 40 fortune 500 companies. I am sure God is overwhelmed with joy because of the planned sweeping concourses or the fricken sky bridge. Boy, are they proud of their sky bridge. And I am sure than when people see that, they say, oh glory to God! Seriously? I really wish the guy could be honest and say, "We've got money, yes we do. We've got money, how bout you?" Meanwhile, in downtown Dallas where this construction project is going on, homelessness is rampant, and the believers that are part of that fellowship know deep down inside that $130 million could go a long way to relieve world hunger, fight human trafficking (which Dallas is world renowned for it's mad trafficking skills), and a laundry list of other social injustices rather than spending all of that on comfort and bragging rights, not to mention the countless number of families in Dallas that are hurting because they lost their jobs. Too blessed to be a blessing.

But lest I be naive, it is certain that this fellowship could never raise that type of capital on those kinds of initiatives. After all, it is tough for you to paste your name on the forehead of a homeless guy like you can on the fricken sky bridge. So since fellowships are spending so much money on themselves, combined with a down economy, many traditionally conservative believers are turning in droves for a solution that will enable the government to cover for the shortfall left by our greed. Many voted Democrat for the first time, and do you want to know why? Because it is the party that seems to emulate the values of Christ on a far greater number of issues than the opposite side. If the party wasn't pro choice, there might not even be a Republican party. The simple fact is that neither side is more one way or the other as it involves the Christ commanded initiatives of the Church. It is a battle of public opinion. If either can convince you that they are good, then they will win. Every time, and then we spend the next 4 to 8 years regretting that mistake only to repeat it again with the opposite party. We are a ridiculous political culture. That is for certain, and the combination religion and politics are equally as absurd. It's funny how we feel that the separation of Church and State is somehow destroying this "Christian" nation. We need to keep it separate, because I believe that our meddling politics rather than being Christ to others has done a great job at destroying the American Church's effectiveness in American culture. I shutter to consider the consequences of our putting more faith in our government to provide for the needy that we have in our God. That ship might have already sailed though.

I want this shirt!

2009-12-08T13:43:00.000-08:00

Now this is a Christian T-Shirt.

Christians and our T-Shirts!

2009-12-07T18:33:00.000-08:00

Elvis was a pro-life fetus? How did they know that?

Public Relations

2009-11-20T11:48:00.000-08:00

On a few occasions, I have seen posts, blogs, articles, and Nashvagas Chrish pop singles on how the Church needs a good PR (public relations) campaign to get the right image out to the people. It appears that to many, pasty old white guy Christianity isn't getting it done. Neither is the uber hippie "I just don't know" Christianity that is building fellowships the size of cities, mostly made up of people who got sick of the old white guy way of doing things, and still haven't seen that the uber hippie way is equally as ridiculous. So many of those super hip Chish folks think that they can tweet the PR that the Church needs to once again be affective in our culture. Good for them. Hope it works.

But I have a bit different way of looking at it. This week, a group of "evangelicals" gathered in Washington to see if they could get arrested while they condemned homosexuals. The legislate resently handed down some new laws governing over hate crimes against minority groups, homosexuals being included in those groups. The "evangelicals" have been saying for months that this law would make preaching against homosexuality a crime in the US, so they went to Washing to prove their point. Such martyrs. No one got arrested. On the other hand, every one of those guys looked like idiots. I always find it interesting when a 300 lb preacher condemns homosexuality. I guess it really hurts to get that plank out of your own eye. Don't hear many sermons on gluttony.

I don't think that good PR will help in this situation. Rather, I think the Church needs a restraining order against these pillars of religious intolerance. Is there any way to make that happen? Is there any way to keep these guys from doing more harm to the Kingdom than good?

Of course, I am certain that God is not nearly as concerned about it as I am. In fact, He probably isn't concerned about us effectively marketing His brand in the least. I don't think that God was shaken in the least when these guys went to Washington and made complete fools of themselves and what they stand for. God can handle His own marketing, and maybe we are looking at more of a management issue. Maybe someone just needs to put the smack down. I don't know. It's just frustrating.

My niece is gay. She and her partner just had a beautiful little girl. I can't wait to see them next week for Thanksgiving. She knows what the scriptures says about homosexuality. She knows that I am a believer in the ministry who believes that the scriptures are authoritative. So, what would it say to her if I spent my day hanging out with those guys on the Hill? What do I say to her in response, that she's an abomination and going to hell? I don't see her as an abomination. I see her as my niece that I love. Jesus paid the price for this sinner to spend eternity with the Father, and although I will die selfish, prideful, gluttonous, and envious of my brothers and sisters, still I will be welcomed into the Father's arms. Why? Because I believe that the scriptures are true, that all who confess with their mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord and believe that He rose from the dead will be saved. Has my niece done that? Not sure, but I hope so! What then? Well, she is a new creation. She may very well die a homosexual, just as I will die with a laundry list of the "lesser" sins, but I am just not going to make the doctrinal shift that says she will burn in hell for her sin, but I will not for mine.

So this does bring up the question, should Christians be tolerant of homosexuality? No more so than they should be tolerant of Christians beign judgmental, arrogant, prideful, and ambitious. In truth, I as a believer am inhibited in my ability to see homosexuality as God sees it by a hateful culture that has bred the very things that this hate crime legislation protects individuals from. So this is what I ask those who want to preach against homosexuality. When you do so, do you have someone in your mind who is a homosexual that you love, and don't give me this broad BS that you love everyone, because that just isn't true. If you don't actually know a gay person that you love, then you have no ministry to that culture, so maybe you should stick to being blessed to be a blessing. I actually know people who minister in the gay community. The phrase "You're an abomination and are going to hell" has never come up in their discussions or the presentation of the Gospel. We are all sinners. We all fall short of the glory of God and are in need of a Savior. That Savior is Jesus. Let He and the Holy Spirit handle the sin. Let's just love people for a change.

Rocky Mountain High

2009-07-22T16:53:00.000-07:00

The past week has been an incredible one for the Presley family. We are currently on vacation in beautiful Kelowna, British Columbia, and the trip is only tainted by the wild fires burning just over the ridge. We may be evacuated...but hopefully not! The first part of our trip started in Colorado to spend time with members of our spiritual family and enjoy the 70 degree days of the Colorado high country.

The week began with daily get togethers with old friends, and getting acquainted with new ones. I have been part of Ben and Robin Pasley's circle of friends for almost 12 years now, so these gatherings weren't anything new. The conversations centered around sonship in the Kingdom, which they typically do. It is always great spending extended time with a group of people who seem to have a grasp on the dynamics of being a son of a King whose kingdom is often neglected and relegated to the local fellowship.

God always takes time to bake my noodle a bit when I am on these trips, and He wasted no time for this one. As I was listening to conversations that I have heard before, and seeing people's eyes open to ideas that mine had previously been opened, I felt a tinge of cynesism growing inside me. It seemed that my heart was, "Yeah, so...," because we live in a city that is so far removed from the truth that was being said that it is difficult to live it out day by day when we return to the sweltering Texas heat. Then God dropped something big into my heart. He said, "It is easy to be persuaded by rhetoric. It is far more difficult to be transformed by truth."

I had to take a second to let that sink in...and then a few more seconds to let it sink in some more. In fact, I don't think that I now fully comprehend the depths of that statement and how it applies to how I have been living my life over the past 32 years.

In our culture, rhetoric is a powerful thing. So powerful that one can get elected president on rhetoric alone without having the least bit of experience or truth to back it up. Now this is not a political conversation. This is a conversation about how rhetoric drives our ideas and how we react to the culture around us.

I began to realize that I have been taking rhetoric, and making it part of my conversation and collection of ideas, rather than allowing the truth behind the "speak" to transform my life. In other words, I took on and expoused different ideas that impressed others and made me feel that I had it a bit more figured out than the normal Chrisitian, but I hadn't allowed the truth to make me a different person. In fact, I would say that I was the same person as before, but just with a new collection of descriptave words to depict my faith.

I have said this a number of times, but will say it again. God called us to go out and impact culture to build His kingdom. Rather, Christians have been busily building a culture and calling it His kingdom, when really it is only a collection of people who are too afraid and/or self centered to take the Gospel where it should live, in our daily lives rather than the ministries of our particular fellowship. For me though, this was just rhetoric, and every time I stated it, people would go, "Oh, that's good. I am going to have to think about that one." But really, upon that revelation, I should have completely changed the way that I was intersecting with culture. I should have become extremely agressive to finding ways to get into the culture that God has called me to reach and living life with people who need Jesus. Rather than that, I only took on the idea, and shared it with others, because of the appearances that it bred.

That evening, as we sat around the fire, enjoying the chill of a Colorado evening, my eyes were opened to the effective campaign of the enemy to take the revelation of God in my life and relegate it to an idea, which has seemed to make it truly pointless. I mean, really, what good is the revelation of God unless the result is a greater love for the Father and those He has called us to reach? I have seen this time and time again in my personal life as well as in others, and all along, I felt that we were really growing in the Lord, when in fact we were only growing our own egos and vocabulary.

Now, I don't want to say that all rhetoric is bad. In fact, with the understanding of the power of rhetoric in our culuture, I am asking God how we can use rhetoric as a gateway into other's discovery of the truth of the Gospel, but it can't simply end with an idea. It can't simply end with a mission statement or a slogan. Although many are foolish enough to blindly follow a slogan, we as believers must back it up with our lives and our love. It requires a transformation, one that I feel that I am finally embarking upon, and God is unpacking so much in my life right now that it is hard to keep up, but I will certainly be logging the transformation! I hope that many would have their eyes open as I was this weekend. We will see.

The Lilies

2009-05-25T21:34:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I watched the recent sci-fi thriller "The Day the Earth Stood Still" staring the ever stoic Keanu Reeves and Jennifer Connolly. The film is about an alien who comes to earth to save it, and by doing so must wipe out the human race. It's basically a modern telling of the Noah story. Even the animals are taken away to preserve them.

You might have seen the previews where there is a cloud of something that is dissolving everything in site. Tanks, buildings, semi trucks, and people are gone after this cloud passes over them. I found myself rooting for the cloud, and in the end, was hoping for a not so happy ending. I won't tell you if I got that ending or not. You will have to see it for yourself.

I found it curious as to why I was wanting the cloud to win, as though we as humans deserve complete destruction. We deserve to be wiped off of the face of this planet. I see what we have created around us that we call life, and how it consumes our every thought and activity. I will work most of my life so that I can have a house, drive a car, talk on my IPhone, and type on this fricken computer, which I do far too much as it is. I look at my life and sincerely long for something more simplistic.

Looking at scripture, Jesus asks us to consider the lilies of the field and the birds of the air. They need not worry because God has already provided that which they need to survive. It makes me wonder if we as a human race have built so many comforts and conveniences around us that we will never be able to live our lives like that. I mean, did God really create us to sit in traffic? Did He create us to pay a mortgage? Did He create us to achieve the American dream? Or all of these things a giant distraction which will eventually lead to our demise?

I chuckle nervously as I write this post. I saw Terminator 4 this weekend, which of course is also about man's annihilation because of what we have created. As I read over Genesis, I have to ask myself the question of just what was so bad that God had to flood the Earth? How did they get to the point to where there was no other family on the planet that knew God other than Noah and his family? With the decline in Christianity here in the west, how much time will have to pass when, if staying on our current path, we are in the exact same spot, and there are no believers left?

I don't think that this will happen, and there are plenty who can get their theological Ginsu knives and cut that doctrine to shreds, but even with those guys, who spend their entire lives educating themselves of the nature of God, how is that being the lilies of the fields or the birds of the air, and of course there are many believers who are distracted by theology just like I am distracted by Twitter, my four year old, and the 24 season finale. We all have these man created systems around us that keep us from being that which God created us to be, and I know that this is so prevalent in my life, and all I want is for the cloud to come and take it away, so that maybe I can see clearly that I am God's beloved, He has a plan and purpose for my life and my family and friends, and all the rest is pure bull shit.

Now I am concerned what people will think because I used the word shit. Who am I kidding. No one reads this anyways. Anyways, back to the topic. Monthly, the place where I live cost me roughly 1/3 of my income. In other words, since I work about 16o hours in a month, I spend 50 hours a month making money to have a house. That's about 1 and a half hours a day. Do I spend that with God....and I wonder why I can be like the lilies. Obviously my house is more important. In fact, as far as my time is concerned, the only thing that I would say is more important than my house is my television, because you can bet that I spend more than 1 and a half hours a day watching that. The other thing would be my family. I will typically spend more time that that a day with them.

So what does that say about me as a person? It says that my house and my television are more important to me than my relationship with God. I mean, let's face it. Even if I get 40 minutes in the car to pray and mediate on God, it still doesn't come close to the amount of time that I spend on the house, and in reality, my heart is longing, dieing, crying out to know God more, and could care less about this house, but my mind and my flesh continues to buy into the lie that these things are important. I simply cannot be a Lily. I can't be a Lily, a father, an employee, a husband, and a son.

One of the points of the movies is that the Aliens had to come because the people were unwilling to change. The point is made that it is only on the precipice, at the point of total destruction, do a group of people truly change. That is why I have seen heroine addicted drug addicts miraculously turn their lives around on a dime. I have also seen some destroy themselves, but I am not now, nor ever have been at that point. Sure I have had some really difficult times, but my complete and total destruction wasn't the result unless I changed course. During the difficult times, God is so clear, like the morning after a huge thunderstorm, but it is only a matter of time until the distraction come back, because I didn't really change. I was just desperate for God and because He loves me, He was there for me. I have to ask myself the question though. Will it take my immanent destruction for me to truly change, because I can tell you this. I don't know of anyone who has willed that to happen; who one day woke up and said I am going to change today. In every case, there has always been their immanent demise, whether it was losing 300 pounds for Oprah or realizing that you need to diet and exercise because you had a heat attack.

That is not to say that instances like that don't exist, but everyone that I have known for some time are pretty much the same as the day that I met them, especially other believers. Some are more predisposed to ideological shifts, but not in a way which radically removes every obstacle that keeps them from having a full relationship with God. Those who had a vibrant relationship with God still do. Those who were faking it still are. Those who didn't want to have anything to do with God still don't for the most part, and it is only those whom I have seen come to know Christ who have been transformed and are radically different. Either that, or they reached a moment in their lives of destruction, and God had to piece their lives back together. I long for that destruction, because without it, my life is just like that of so many believers whose relationship with God is merely something that they make time for. It isn't something that drives their daily existence.

Pain Unimaginable

2009-03-14T20:06:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine lost his two baby daughters this week. They were conjoined and the doctors didn't expect them to live very long outside of the womb. They had about an hour to spend getting to know their children before they went to be with Jesus. I cannot image the pain of such a loss. Well, I can image because I have two boys, and losing them both would be a torture unimaginable.

There is far more to this story that inspires faith in many, watching this family struggle with God's design, perceptions about how babies should look, and succumbing to the knowing that it is only a matter of time before they will have to deal with this loss. I know many charismatic Christians would have said that they needed to have faith that Jesus would heal these two little girls. Some may even say that it was their fault that they weren't healed due to a lack of faith. Those people have probably not dealt with the loss of someone extremely close, but one day they will, and this crisis of faith will either lead to their distancing from God our the changing of their doctrine.

I personally have been impacted more than many looking from the outside in. Recently, my family has been going through difficult times as well, which pail in comparison to what this family was going through. What is amazing is that the father of these two little girls was a great encouragement to my family, in spite of the fact the he know that in two days, he would lose his little girls. He was fully justified in letting us handle our own problems, because his were much bigger. My friend Mimo wrote a great blog called, "Not now, I am Trying to Save the World" which speaks on this topic. The basic point that he makes quite well is that far too often we are too self absorbed in our own issues, calling, or ambition to spend any time helping others through their difficult times.

In the parable of the Good Samaritan, the Church has always demonized those individuals that walk by this beaten down man without lending a hand. Maybe the first person was late to a lunch appointment. The second had lost his job and was wondering how he would make rent that month. The story of the two is no different than most of our daily existence as believers, but my friend is not that person. He took the time to spend with our family when his family was hurting. The thing that breaks my heart is that I am not sure that I would do the same. To be honest, it never even dawned on me during the time that his circumstances far outweighed mine. All I could think about was how we as a family was hurting and concerned about what we were going to do next.

I am inspired by this man. I am inspired by his humility, genuine love, and the fact that I can't mistake the face of Jesus when I spend time with him. I trust him with my family, even when many times in the past, men in his position have betrayed that trust. This family has been through the fire, and they are still burning, but the fact that they faced it head on despite the pain makes them worthy of trust.

My prayers are with you. Thank you for being a real example of Jesus in a world full of counterfeits. I am very fortunate to have people like yourself in my life.

Interruptable

2009-03-14T16:15:00.000-07:00

I was reading a LA Times article today on the phenomenon of Twitter. I subscribe to Twitter and put post and ideas up there fairly often. The article mentioned how people are allowing interruptions to happen in their lives through this service. Me personally, I have the Twitterfox add-on for Firefox and every time there is a number that pops up, I open the window and find out that a friend is bragging about running 5 miles or telling me where they are going to eat dinner. Then I hop on there and brag about some thought that I have, and my narcissistic tendency waits with baited breath for a response from someone to legitimize my thought, action, and/or existence.

So I can see why people would post to Twitter. After all, we are probably the most self centered generation this planet has ever seen, myself included. We have successfully isolated ourselves in such an efficient way through the web and our cultural circles that we have to somehow create a marketplace around us that will celebrate our ideas and achievements. No longer are the influential few celebrated widely. The internet can make us all stars.

Now what about those, like myself, who spend their day being interrupted by people's updates? I find it curious that privacy is no longer a value in our culture. We used to value the ability to disconnect and be unreachable, but today, we invent ways to divert our attention and be distracted. I am a multi-tasker. I like having a number of balls in the air to juggle at once (your welcome Office fans). I typically don't like to focus on one task for an extended period of time, but I rather treat my life like a multiple download. I don't have time to sit and wait for one song to finish downloading before I start the other. For some reason, I think that downloading all the songs at once will get it done quicker. Of course it won't, but in my mind, it is certainly faster. There are hundreds of other ways I do thisl.

Because of the way that I am wired, I have always had to force myself to stop everything and spend time with God, but one thing is certain. I am interruptable...but not by God. I interrupt myself countless times a day to check email, read a text, check twitter, read status updates, and the list goes on and on and on. I very seldom find myself being interrupted by the voice of God, the conviction of the Holy Spirit, or intimacy with Christ. I feel as though my life is getting entirely too cluttered. There are too many items in my life that I have added to make communication more simplistic and efficient but are having the opposite effect.

I guess I can equate this movement to something like film making. Making a film typically involves a symphony of artists working together in concert to create one collected work. That was the case until Blair Witch came along. Now anyone with Final Cut and a camcorder can be a film maker. True, we have some some incredible works of art come from this movement, but it has also created a tremendous amount of noise out there. The same is true with Myspace and the music industry. While the independent artist has opportunities like they have never had, it also have introduced so much material into the marketplace that has no business being there in the first place. Noise.

I fear that with these social movements, the same will happen with our relationships and our connections with one another and with God. I am afraid we will start having the mentality that we can communicate our love, affection, and even testimony in 140 words or less, but even more so, that our communication and connection with one another will be so full of noise that it loses all meaning. There is just something about this social networking thing that doesn't sit right with me. For some reason, I don't think that God needed a college geek in a dorm room to create methods for us as humans to connect with one another in meaningful ways, and I certainly don't think that God intends for the daily ins and outs of our lives to be extraordinary in the least to one another, especially if we spend more time in the discover/communication of the mundane than the consistent discovery of the eternal and never ending glory of God.

Impressive

2009-03-11T10:36:00.001-07:00

Being here in Dallas, this is the land of impressive fellowships. The fellowship which employs me is fairly impressive. Down the street, there are fellowships with huge steeples and parking garages. They are really impressive. Even further, you have fellowships with moving lights, multiple projection screens, worship leaders with cool hair, and pastors who look great on 20/20. Very impressive indeed. You go even further and you have all of that plus about 20,000 people who join in the impressiveness. Yes, I live in a region of the world where the Church is very impressive.

I am kind of impressive too. I have a beautiful wife. I have reared children that everyone adores. I can do allot of stuff really well. As individuals go, I would think that I am just north of average on the impressive scale. I hang out with impressive people who do even more impressive stuff than I do. Their blogs and podcasts are impressive. Their songwriting ability is impressive. Their ability to attract others like them is impressive as well. With all of this impressiveness floating around, it has led me to one central understanding that is quickly becoming core to my understanding as a believer.

There is no way in heaven or hell we are going to impress anyone into the Kingdom of God. The phrase will never be uttered, “I came to know Christ because I was just so impressed by those Christians and their impressive lives!” The entirety of the attraction that the family of God brings is not that God makes us more impressive to others. It is that we as sinners, depraved and broken, have been adopted into the family of God. We once were orphans. Now we are heirs, and although we will remain depraved and broken until God takes us home, we are covered by a grace that both stays the wrathful hand of God and allows us to know our Father, His Son, and His Spirit in a radical, counter cultural, unimpressive and humble way.

The Sexy Christian

2009-03-11T10:35:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I have been trying to figure out why I want a Mac so bad. My work provides me with a perfectly good PC to check my email, hop on the internet, and post to this blog. In the creative world, Macs are simply better because of their processing power and OS, but that doesn't matter too much for me checking my email and posting to this blog. So why is it that when I walk in to Starbucks, and pull out my Dell, I feel embarrassed?

Tonight, I watched a Mac commercial. It was about how Mac is green. The battery last a long time and has a longer shelf life, etc. I thought to myself, I need a Mac so that I can care about the environment more. How retarded is that? If I don't have a Mac, I am the pudgy, dorky, slightly overweight guy who could never get laid, especially if you are standing next to Mac guy. Fortunately my wife lives me for my Dell!

So what does this say about us as consumers in America? How about all of my Mac friends out there? Why do you have a Mac? Is it for the processing power? Is it because it offers you more programs than a PC that you use for your business? Or do you have one because it's more sexy than a PC? Or even more so, do you have one because you subconsciously believe the ads that the Mac itself makes you more sexy, greener, artistic, and/or hip?

I think it would be a far more interesting discussion to think about how the Mac influence has worked its way into what we do in ministry. I only bring this up because as I look at myself in ministry, and even the motivation behind why I do what I do, I can see allot of the same mentality creeping up in my drive and purpose. How can I be a more sexy Christian? What do I need to do to be more artistic, greener, and/or hip? Is it possible that I have been influenced by a very effective marketing campaign whose book deals and growth techniques, or better yet, the crafty lies and deceit of an enemy set on destroying our intimacy with God, have convinced me that there is a formula, product, or program that will make my ministry more attractive to others. It will make my band be more attractive, my art be more attractive, and the list goes on and on. How can I make my ministry more sexy? How can I be a more sexy Christian?

Paul warns against this kind of stuff. He warns of us being more influenced rather than being an influence. I am going to paraphrase here, and possibly take a bit of artistic license. He speaks of how he preaches the cross and Him crucified. He says that this is the only tool that he has to be an affective minister, but I really don't think that we as believers today actually believe those words. I mean, it has to be the Gospel...and. Yeah, we have the Gospel and a sweet multimedia presentation. We have the Gospel and a television ministry. We have the Gospel and a drum circle. I am certain that I don't think that any of these things are bad, but my concern is that I have come to the conclusion that the Gospel isn't sexy on its own.

My wife and I are involved in a ministry that goes into brothels to minister to prostitutes. For the last year, they have tried everything to gain entry into these people's lives. They tried serving them, gift baskets, being covert, but none of that worked. One day one of the team members got a really dumb idea. She suggested that they go in and wash these whore's feet. I use that word because that is the typical stigma that Christians put on these men and women, much like the people did when Christ loved on Mary Mag. It's the reason why these sons and daughters are the most marginalized people in our society.

So they started doing that. They started praying really hard, and going in and sharing how Jesus came to serve and would wash his disciples feet. All of the sudden, they began to be invited into the brothels. They were asked to stay for dinner by the House Mommas. They were asked to pray with the girls, read scripture, and share about the life of Jesus. Low and behold, people started getting saved in the whore houses! The Gospel worked! It really worked! It was sexy enough.

So I think that I'm bringing sexy back, and am going to stop this nonsense that says that God needs my anything to reach the lost. He has already done so, and the greatest story that was ever told is my story to tell, and is the only thing that will be affective should I allow my giftings to tell it without Mac pollution.

Late Night on Sunday Morning

2008-09-02T20:37:00.001-07:00

This weekend, we had our World Passion Update, which is our annual missions update. This year, just like last year, they chose to do a talk show theme, but this year, they actually had a Technical Director, yours truly, to help create the environment, and that was a ton of fun!

I was able to work with Randall Wright, who is the design director of the Dallas Children's Theater, who on a limited budget took the late night concept and worked some serious magic. We built some additional, much needed platforms for the stage for the band, and used an opaque blue scrim like curtain to surround the stage. Behind the stage on the desk side was a city backdrop. We also used IMAG so I had the opportunity to get some additional stage lighting, Altman 2ks, and the light that these instruments put out is beautiful. It was the first time I was able to light for video, and it turned out really great! I was pretty stoked. This was also the first time that this fellowship had really used IMAG. We rented a two camera video fly pack from Showtech, and they just have great gear. Our friend Ben Cating from Acoustic Dimensions was the video director. It looks great up on the screens. I can wait to see the footage that we captured.

The rehearsal went pretty well, only a couple of technical issues, but by Sunday morning, everything was ready to go. We had an amazing band, made up of a combination of our Sunday morning guys, and then a couple of hired guns. The sax player, Dave Monsch, was amazing. My friend James Putnam was on bass, and a Cuban named Julian was on Hammond organ and synth. Aaron Hass was on drums. It sounded amazing. The band was so tight, and it is a blast when you have great players with great tone. You can push the decibel levels even more, and the mix was so warm and inviting. The audience ate it up, and haven't stopped talking about it since. I will hopefully have some video up soon of the event.

So now we are on to Northwest Worship Live. We will be doing a live worship recording September 21st, and I am excited about that night. My wife will be on it with two of the songs she has written. All in all, there will be 12 songs on the record, and we are doing an additional 6 "unplugged" songs that evening that we are giving away that night to people who preorder the CD. We will be renting movers for the show, which will be the first time I have been able to use those in this space. I am excited to see how it all comes together.

Live from the DQ!

2008-07-09T15:33:00.001-07:00

I am sitting in the Dairy Queen in Lindale, TX. Why would anyone blog from a Dairy Queen you ask? Because it is the only wifi hotspot in the area. The Presley's have been on vacation for the past week, and it has been awesome. Our friends Ben and Robin Pasley came out for a visit as well, and we have just spent our time riding horses, fishing, swimming, and most importantly, resting! It has been awesome.

Ben is now chatting it up with a friend on Skype. It is a very detailed conversation. I am hearing words phrases like "Establishing a spiritual family that isn't completely dominated by the dad..." Oh, come on, we have to have our King. We have to have our President. We have to have our pastor! And we have to have our dad. All of these people have to run everything and they all have to be male...right? Right...of course not.

I love spending time with Ben and Robin because they help me see past the smog of this Christian culture in which I am steeped. You know I love the Church. Part of my calling requires that I engage this American Christian culture that thinks that the only authoritative, shepherding influence must come from the pulpit on Sunday morning, and sadly enough this has created a culture with no fathers, and so many orphans. I was part of an organization once where I began to feel like an orphan. I was beginning to feel like the pastor was trying to be a fathering influence on my family, and it simply wasn't working. When I brought that up, it seems that I pissed in every bowl of Cheerios in that fellowship, but they didn't understand, and in fact most don't understand.

I was thinking today about our commitment to God and His family. In the American church, it seems that we have taken the 10% model to serving God rather than the 100% that He asks for. We have seemingly taken the old testament concept of tithing, and because this American culture needs huge amounts of money to function and expand the parking lot, we have pulled a scripture completely out of context to make it work for our current paradigm. Now I see why that has been done. After all, everyone should be invested in their local fellowship, but 10% isn't a magic number in the least. In fact, Christ didn't ask his followers for 10%. He asked for 100%. So I was thinking about what that meant, especially in light of a drama that my fellowship put on a couple of weeks ago as it related to the guy who discovered treasure in a field, and gave up everything to possess it. I think that way too many Christians are in this thing for the benefits. Hey, my soul is saved, I can network my business, and feel that I am a good person. It's true, you can do that in the body of Christ, but far too few have truly counted the cost, including myself. We give only a small percentage to Christ. Not everything. We give our Sunday mornings, or maybe a mid week bible study. Maybe we give a morning quite time, but still that is far from all. We spend all of the rest of our time going out to make the money so that we can live this American dream. In truth though, if we are instructed to give all, the greatest evidence that we have deviated from that command as a Christian culture is how we spend our money. It is certainly ironic.

Here is what I mean. The current model states that we give 10% first, and then if there is any excess after we take care of ourselves, we ask God who where we can give that...or we buy that plasma tv. Most don't ask God at all how He thinks they should spend His money, because if we are truly giving everything, then God is not asking us to give $50 bucks to support a local missionary. Rather, we are asking Him to be our provision, and if we need a car, we ask, because the money to buy it doesn't belong to us. If we want to buy a home, we ask. If we want that plasma, we ask. That is what it means to have God be the Lord of our lives. Nothing is ours. All his His.

But this isn't the Gospel that we teach/preach/evangelize with. Rather, we tell others of the benefits. People come to know God to be saved from hell. It is as though Christianity is merely an accessory to our daily lives, rather than the driving force that influences our every decision, but the reality is that if we preach that we are all sinners in need of a savior only, then that is all that the majority get out of it, and they spend their lives making no difference in this fallen world. Is it possible that God only gives in proportion to what we give? Take the parable of the talents. One guy buried it. The other two doubled it, and gave it back to the landowner. They guy who buried it was rebuked, and cast out "where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth." Seriously, Jesus despised that guy. We have been given the gift of Salvation, and most believers have buried it. I just wonder how the Father feels about that one.

I love Switchfoot's song, American Dream. He says that he is tired of "Fighting for me." He says, "This isn't my American Dream. I want to live and die for bigger things." It is amazing to me how the Church has bought into this idea of the American Dream and ignored the dreams of the Father. We dream of the vacation home, retirement package, etc. God dreams about saving the babies out of the sex trade. He dreams about feeding those who can't feed themselves. He dreams about giving generations of enslaved people freedom though the power of the Gospel. I don't think that he is dreaming too much about our hedonistically focused approach to ministry. We spend the majority of our time giving ourselves comfortable worship environments and planning one off ministry endeavors that will make us feel like we have been about the great commission. Most fellowships spend the majority of the money that they receive on themselves, and excuse it by saying that if we get 16:9 projection, it will make us better at reaching out to those who are dieing without Christ. It's laughable really.

Meanwhile, all this expenditure doesn't fix this aching hole that so many believers sense that they are alone in this world. They are orphans without fathers, and although our heavenly Father is more than enough, He expresses that love and devotion through His family. I have been listening this week to what God is saying about my family. It isn't the same as yours. You can't have mine. I wonder if it can exist in the current CEO leadership model that has hijacked the American Church, or if it must exist more on the underground, with those who are truly seeking, who have counted the cost and given it all. I think that the latter is true, and only hope that the conviction of the Holy Spirit in my life spurs me on to increasing those percentages in my life that I have given to God.

Todd Lively

2008-06-25T22:15:00.001-07:00

Someone very special left this world on Sunday. He was a dear friend, a brother, teetering on the role of father on many occasions in my life. It makes me sad that he is gone. It makes me even sadder as I realize that this world has so few Todd Livelys who live their lives exclusively for others. He was the most generous and unselfish man I have ever met, and he was a man that always had you covered.

At the funeral, I saw so many individuals who were fortunate enough to call him friend. I was fortunate to spend a year of my life in his freezing apartment. I connected with so many people today, and I just can't help but think that the hospitality and generosity of such a great man was still felt the entire day, and will be felt for many days to come.

I wish I could have had one last conversation in his big ass bed...I know that sounds weird, but if you knew Todd, you would understand. I wish I would have made that trip out there to see him after his surgery, and much of me is pissed because God felt it necessary to take something so good from us when we live in a Christian culture barren of such genuine hearts. The world became a bleaker place on Sunday, and although Todd is completely enamored in the glory of the One he served just about every day of his life, we here on earth are left with so little because we are plagued by selfishness and greed. Most aren't steeped in sin. Most aren't addicted to substance. Most are just too damn busy. Most can't see past their own problems to help anyone else. Most are controlled by a sexual and monetary appetite that keeps them from ever experiencing anything real when it comes to relationships, and I find myself often being that person, so self absorbed that I even neglect the family that I love.

Todd always inspired me to be a better man, molded by the hands of a loving God who only wanted to be close. Now he is gone, and I ask myself is when my day comes, will I be that person who inspires others, or will I simply continue to consume this Christian culture that not only gives me an excuse for being an ass, but every day props up poster children that even write self help books to be the best ass I can be. Todd, if you have the chance, don't hesitate to let me know that I am being an idiot. Thanks for being Jesus.

The purging...

2008-06-16T09:44:00.001-07:00

This week will conclude my two week extravaganza of the booth cleanse. Our booth has been in great need of a makeover. It is probably one of the worst "installs" I have run across. Basically, think of the worst installs you have ever seen, and replace those installers with monkeys and you have the previously deceased install! As I was working over my new patching matrix, thanks to Ryan Howell's matrix as a guide, I finally reached a breaking point, and just started tearing stuff out! Fortunately, this started on Monday and didn't conclude until Friday.

I redesigned the entire layout of the booth to give us more square footage of table space and booth space. I literally pulled piles of network, audio, and video cable out of corners and spaces. There were at least 15 power strips in the rats nest. I got rid of gear that we no longer use, which enabled me to get rid of two 12 space racks as well that were taking up table space. I moved the console to the corner, where I had my graphics, lighting, and producer crammed, and now they have plenty of space to work. Then I cleaned up the backs of the racks and it is starting to look like a real install now!

Clair Brothers is here this week adding to the patch bay some insert channels for the Drawmer compressors and gates that I added earlier in the year. They are also running two aux sends to my amp room so that I can control my subs and front fills on an aux. Then we are adding 12 desperately needed channels to the stage, getting me up to 40 channels on the stage, which is workable for our setup. So after this week, I won't have to sacrifice my second kick mic for a click channel. Very nice.

This weekend was probably one of the smoothest that we have had. I had an almost full staff, minus an A2, which always makes things interesting for me. Our transitions were flawless as were the cues. It was one of those Sunday's that just make you smile, and are some much needed therapy to the techsticular cancer!

On a personal note, this weekend I had a great daddy day. We hit the water park and had lunch at Hullihan's off of Beltline. Their lettuce wraps were the best I have ever had. I had some great family time, and took my son down the big slides even though he was an inch too short. We don't need no stinking inch!

Keep on Pluggin

2008-06-05T15:19:00.001-07:00

Caution-This post is all tech, so if you don't dig that, move on my friend.

This week, we found out just how well we are communicating with one another here at my job. We had an event that was basically the people's chance to get to know the issues that would be voted upon on the upcoming congregational vote. Our new Exec. Pastor took the helm of this event along with a brand new position that we created called the Events Manager. Needless to say, we learned allot this week about how we don't work together as a team, but the good news is that we are working to resolve those issues.

It is amazing to me that typically in many fellowship, tech is an afterthought. I worked in corporate gigs before I came here, and that was certainly not the case. I have also worked at a couple of fellowships where that wasn't the case, but here it seems to be. I think that they have been so used to everything AV related being so sub par that they no longer have a level of expectancy when it comes to tech. Of course, my job would be very easy if I just did nothing and allowed the same 'ol same 'ol but that doesn't really help our cause, and I am a perfectionist, so I can't stay out of it!

We do a number of events in our Christian Life Center, which is supposed to have a "wisywig" system for the common dude to operate. It of course doesn't work worth a crap, and it never has. So we are dropping another $12 grand into the system that will hopefully, but not likely replace our need for a campus wide AV guy/gal. It's a Crestron system, which is so complicated that there are only a handful of guys that can actually service the unit, and they are so busy that we have to pay an additional lump sum for them to simply be available for us the following day after we call for an emergency. I think I might need to learn how to tech that system!

At any rate, since the "wisywig" system doesn't work, I set up a system and lighting for the event, and that portion went really smoothly. I got a chance to rent the Yamaha LS 9 console, and although I have used it's big brother a number of times, and it's even bigger brother as well, I wasn't sure how impressed I would be in this console. Let me tell you, it was a great rig! That console sells at around $4000, and the sonic clarity along with comp and gate on every channel makes it one of the best bargains in the industry. I am going to put the LS 9 in every room in this building that requires AV. I used the 16 channel version, which is capable of 32 with additional input cards. The footprint was 19" which was just great. I was set up and mixing in minutes.

For the mains, I used some of my favorite speakers, the JBL VRX series. I had a big room to fill with these tiny cabinets and they had no problem. I didn't even array them. I used for, and spread them across the front, because the room was so wide. It easily reached the last seat, but there is no treatment on the back wall, so the stage could hear a pretty significant echo from the slap back. The senior pastor threw up the breaks during the program and asked if I could turn the echo down! It's always great when you get called out for a problem during the program. Of course the audience had no idea.

Lastly, I finally made the trip out to Norcostco for some 3204 corrective gel. I have been using 02 for as long as I can remember, and just don't like how bright it makes the stage. You can't control it well when you are attempting to do some significant color changing or dramatic fx. The 3204 was a huge improvement! The light is very natural, and the skin tones work well under it. The senior pastor is a bit olive skinned, so I have had to use 02 to keep him from looking dead, but the 3204 worked well for him as well. I am pretty pleased with the results.

The new lighting in the worship center looks great. We have had a ton of comments, which was nice. It looks and sounds great....which is something they haven't had in a long time. I am glad that I could help them get there!

Love, Art, Magic

2008-05-30T21:50:00.001-07:00

So tonight, I got a chance to finally catch an art show called Art, Love, Magic (web site) hosted by my friend Justin Nygren. It was so cool getting to see him in his element. About 6 years ago, myself, my soon to be wife and a couple of others came down to Dallas from Colorado Springs, and helped him produce his first multi-arts event called the Blue Door. He and his wife are so stinking cool, and it is great to see that since then, he has really arrived in his element, and is producing some really fantastic events!

This was one of their coffee house versions, which is paired back a bit, but none the less, I got a chance to see a few really amazing artists that I have to talk about! The first is a guy named Spencer (myspace site). This guy couldn't have been over 18, and he had a Dillon vibe that made you have to listen! Lyrically, his songs were fairly profound. He is one of those make you think kind of songwriters, and his final song, called "America" I believe, was just awesome. I love to see young talent who get the fact that they aren't God's gift to the world, but rather that the world is God's gift to us! Wow, I need to put that thought in my book.

The other was a very new artist named Jason Kinney (website). His medium is pencil with a portrait specialty, and he has only been creating for about 4 years. His detail is astounding. In today's age of photoshop, artists far too often take mediocre works and run it through a digital process to somehow capture a unique aspect. His prints were merely b & w photocopies from Kinko's, undoctored, and you could still see the grain of the paper, the detail of each pencil stroke, and at first glimpse, you would think you were looking at black and white head shot, but upon closer inspection, you see that it is a freehand work. What is absolutely amazing is how he omits certain aspects of the pieces that aren't important but keys in on some that bring the piece to life. I bought a print of the old man on the website. His wrinkles tell stories of being formed by years of hardship and pain, yet reveal the permanent remnants of a smile that may not be present in the portrait, but I am sure is as distinct a portion of his existence as the hat on his head. His eyes bathe you in peace. You sense grace in his demeanor. You see wisdom that cannot be learned in a classroom or because you made it to church on Sunday, but because you lived your life communing with God.

Jason's testimony is pretty awesome as well. He and his wife have been delivered from a meth addiction in one of those miraculous ways that piss people off who don't believe that God still heals people today! You need to go to his sight and read his testimony. Powerful!

Art, Love, Magic has another show coming up at the Janet Kennedy Gallery at Southside on Lamar sometime in June. It will feature about 30 female artists from around Dallas, and I am certain will be an event that should be on everyone's calendar! It will certainly be on mine.

Near Death On the Catwalk

2008-05-27T19:44:00.001-07:00

OK, I love lighting. Seriously, I think that audio is probably my "A game" but lighting really gets me going. This last week, I was finally approved to go out and get the necessary lighting to meet the bare minimum for the stage. Finally, I have three points of light for each area of the stage, and it made a great improvement, but getting there nearly killed me... literally.

Thursday, I hired a couple of people that I worked with when I did electrics for Gemini Stage and Lighting Company. There is one guy in particular that I used to tell myself that I would never hire again because he was so slow, but every time I needed a couple of electricians for an install, he was the only one available. So I took that as God wanting me to bless this guy. I really like him. I feel for him honestly, because he is getting older in his life, and doesn't have allot to show for it, other than his daughter that just got drafted into the WNBA. At any rate, I have a soft spot for the guy, so I hire him anyway, although I know he is going to talk on his cell phone way too much and complain if I keep him a minute over the four hour mini.

Thursday was no exception, as he had plenty of "business" to take care of on the cell, and he had to leave no later than 12:30. Fortunately I had the help of a lady named Tammy, who totally rocks. She busted her butt the entire time, and when I describe our catwalk in detail later, you will see why. She got most of the lighting hung, which was my goal with the hired guns, and then I was going to do the focus with my volunteers.

I had rehearsal that night, and one of my volunteers wasn't able to make it because of issues with his daughters car. So, another volunteer and I did the focus, which means we couldn't do it right, having one guy in the catwalk, one on the console, and me on the stage conducting the focus. I don't have a remote focus unit which would make things sooooooo much easier.

Basically, I had to turn on all the lights and wing it, and we really did a pretty poor focus, but I knew the lights were pointed in the right direction. They just needed to be sharpened, shuttered, and gelled, so I figured I could knock that out pretty quickly the next day.

I got our worship coordinator to run the console, and we got through the downstage catwalk pretty quickly. It is fairly easy to access the fixtures from there, even though you have to duck under duct work, the steel, and the fire suppression system, which kills your back and neck and makes the job three times more difficult! The upstage though is another story.

My room wasn't designed with production in mind. I was designed with a preacher, choir, and organist in mind. In other words, it sucks pretty much all around. The upstage catwalk is really midstage, which wouldn't be bad if you could actually focus lights downstage, but you can't. In order to do that, you have to put the lights on an extension, and with the color scrollers, those extentions get pretty heavy. Tammy hung the lights in the right spot, but somewhere we got the dmx mixed up, so I basically had to remove the fixtures to get to the color scrollers and readdress the units. Of course it was about 90 degrees in the catwalk, and I was sweating like you wouldn't believe. I didn't have any help since everyone had already gone home, so I was having to fix what I thought was wrong, come out of the catwalk, go to the console, see if it was fixed. If not, go back so that I could fix it again, only to get back to the console to see that the light was out of focus. Literally, this went on for hours!

At about 11 PM, I was getting pretty close, and was ready to gel the downstage catwalk. I have some 10 degrees hung up there for specials, and to get to their barrels without knocking off the focus is very difficult, because once again, our catwalks weren't designed for production. When you have been working all day, you try and think up the quickest way to do things rather than the safest, and many times that is also the dumbest. Rather than taking the barrel off and inserting the gel, which was the safe way, I decided to hang out over the edge to put the gel in, but to do this, I had to squeeze between the pole and the ceiling. I squeezed, and had to squeeze just enough to literally get stuck. Basically I went past my ribs, and when they expanded back into position, it was like sticking a tape measure in the back of your crap drawer. You can't get it back open. I couldn't get unstuck.

I was having a really hard time breathing because of the pressure on my diaphragm, and I couldn't go the other way because that would end with a 3o foot fall. I thought that I might have to call someone to come and help me out. I was trying not to panic, but then I realized that I left my cell phone downstairs. OK, now I was really trying not to panic! I was in trouble. If I didn't get out of there, I was probably going to suffocate.

So that is of course when the desperate measures come in: prayer, some screaming for help, and finally the resolve to get out no matter what the consequences. So I went for it, and it hurt like hell! Basically I had to push my ribs in, and drag myself out. After about a minute of struggle, I was finally free, but my ribs and sternum were really bruised, and are still hurting today. I don't think that I cracked a rib, but I came pretty close. I am certainly thanking God that I was able to get out.

So I limped downstairs, and sat down and sweated on the console a bit while I did some of the programming. I got finished at about 11 PM Saturday night. All in all, I spent about 45 hours doing the install from Thursday through Saturday.

Then I did a show Sunday night where I loaded in and out a sound rig. It went really well, but that combined with the install and the Sunday service pretty much wore me out. I defiantly was appreciative that Monday was a day off, and that is what I did. After a few ibuprofen and a couple of XX with a lime, I was good to go!

Why am I a tool?

2008-05-08T09:20:00.001-07:00

So why is it a big deal when someone takes the time t maneuver their walker up the stairs, all the way up to the balcony to flag me down and tell me that I am unleashing the hounds of hell upon this unsuspecting congregation with all this racket? Seriously, why does that piss me off so bad? Why do I have a hard time returning a kind word to someone who is genuinely worked up over the nature of the worship service?

I met with a group of technical directors recently, and I stated that I am an arrogant bastard. You know something, I really am. I have a hard time allowing the spirit of Christ to react when people are critical of my sacred mix. It's pretty pathetic really when I think about it. After all, who is the mix for, because with the way that I react, it would seem that it is entirely for me. The paradox exists in the fact that I have a genuine love for the worship environment and helping to create a worship experience that heals people, sets them free, and changes their lives.

So I am going to stop letting my pride get in the way of how I value the beloved of God.