Someone very special left this world on Sunday. He was a dear friend, a brother, teetering on the role of father on many occasions in my life. It makes me sad that he is gone. It makes me even sadder as I realize that this world has so few Todd Livelys who live their lives exclusively for others. He was the most generous and unselfish man I have ever met, and he was a man that always had you covered.
At the funeral, I saw so many individuals who were fortunate enough to call him friend. I was fortunate to spend a year of my life in his freezing apartment. I connected with so many people today, and I just can't help but think that the hospitality and generosity of such a great man was still felt the entire day, and will be felt for many days to come.
I wish I could have had one last conversation in his big ass bed...I know that sounds weird, but if you knew Todd, you would understand. I wish I would have made that trip out there to see him after his surgery, and much of me is pissed because God felt it necessary to take something so good from us when we live in a Christian culture barren of such genuine hearts. The world became a bleaker place on Sunday, and although Todd is completely enamored in the glory of the One he served just about every day of his life, we here on earth are left with so little because we are plagued by selfishness and greed. Most aren't steeped in sin. Most aren't addicted to substance. Most are just too damn busy. Most can't see past their own problems to help anyone else. Most are controlled by a sexual and monetary appetite that keeps them from ever experiencing anything real when it comes to relationships, and I find myself often being that person, so self absorbed that I even neglect the family that I love.
Todd always inspired me to be a better man, molded by the hands of a loving God who only wanted to be close. Now he is gone, and I ask myself is when my day comes, will I be that person who inspires others, or will I simply continue to consume this Christian culture that not only gives me an excuse for being an ass, but every day props up poster children that even write self help books to be the best ass I can be. Todd, if you have the chance, don't hesitate to let me know that I am being an idiot. Thanks for being Jesus.